Crew
Posted by rockadmin
USS Rock N Roll was formed in the year of our lord 2007. The members of this crack team were brought together under the direct order of the Commander in Chief of the United States of America. The mission was this: to set sail aboard a comedy vessel that would bring funny to the sad, indigenous peoples of the world. The budget would be small as all defense monies were already being driven into the battle over foreign oil. So the crack team’s only tools would be imagination, “yes”, and some kick-butt jokes.
These men and women journey the world over bringing laughs, chortles, and guffaws to anyone – period.
James Kirkland (aka The James )
Was born on a Christmas day when the New York Times said God is dead and the war has begun.
Yaba dabo lati dooo la weeee!
He laughs to keep himself from fits of weeping. Thinks often about the pain of living in this third world from the sun. James wishes to thank the children, father and god ghost living in side of him for all the good times.
WU TANG FOREVER.
End bio.
Bryan Irzyk (aka The Tuck)
Measurements: 40x34x32
Likes: Getting haircuts, clouds, slow, slow jams
Dislikes: The Neverending Story – It doesn’t hold up
Tony Lewellen (aka The Trapper)
Tony was born in the wilderness and will die in the wilderness. In the meantime, he lives in Los Angeles.
Dave Taylor (aka The Brary)
Dave hails from a remote desert planet where he lived with his aunt and uncle. As a boy, he wowed the townspeople by winning every single pod race. Once he reached high school age, his family sent him off to a well-to-do boarding school. When a group of terrorists seized the school, Dave led a band of clever misfit students to play pranks on the terrorists. He became the hero. After college, he lived in South America, where he pioneered a brand of ultra-masculine New Journalism. He experienced a setback when he accidentally shot his wife. She survived and they remained married. Dave eventually became a New York City cop. While in NYC, his wife got hired by an Asian conglomerate based in Los Angeles. When visiting her during Christmas, Dave got tangled up with terrorists once again. And once again, he showed his bravery. Eventually, he too moved to LA where he now does comedy.
Levin O’Conner (aka The Dandy)
Rattlesnake High School –begat- The Jungle –begat- USS Rock N Roll.
And it was good.
Annie Hoff (aka The Mouth)
Annie Hoff has played girls on many teams over the years and currently is the GIRL on USS Rock N Roll. She was trained as a woman at iO West and specializes stretching the limits of moderately deep Mother and Girlfriend character types. She continues to grow and challenge herself to play more realistic sex scenes and also strives to improve object work in specifically laundry, cooking, clean and picking the kids up from school. She proudly and consistently bends to the whim or direction of her male counterparts. Annie enjoys a good cry, soft blankets and Meg Ryan movies.
*This bio was written by Annie Hoff, with assistance from Bryan, Levin, Dave, James, Tony, Riki and Phillip.
Riki Kalil (aka The Touch)
Kalil is known for having played heroic roles, such as Moses in The Ten Commandments, Colonel George Taylor in Planet of the Apes, Rodrigo Díaz de Vivar in El Cid, and Judah Ben-Hur in Ben-Hur, for which he won the Academy Award for Best Actor. In the 1950s and 1960s he was one of a handful of Hollywood actors to speak openly against racism and was an active supporter of the Civil Rights Movement. Initially a moderate Democrat, he later supported conservative politics and was president of the National Rifle Association from 1998 to 2003.
Phillip Mottaz (aka Mouse)
For his bio, Phillip would like to submit the following poem:
Phillip has performed improv and sketch comedy for over a decade, training in Chicago and forming the 2-man sketch group Superpunk. He has written for CurrentTV’s “InfoMania,” produced pilots for Fremantle Media and Superdeluxe.com and loves playing with USS Rock N Roll.
June 15th, 2009 at 9:40 pm
What a sexy looking crew. Seriously. And so talented. What is a Brary I wonder?
November 25th, 2009 at 9:24 pm
short for LIE-brary. Don't trust this mutha f(shut your mouth)