Why I HATE Local 132
Posted by Tuck | Filed under Improv Rap Feuds
I’ll say it. I hate Local 132. No, it’s not because they had a better show than we did on Tuesday night. It’s because they make me jealous. They make me want to be up there with them. I love USS Rock n Roll with all of my heart and I don’t ever want to perform without them. But every now and then, Local 132 makes me want to sneak away and get some of that. So I hate them for it. Hate, hate, hate. There aren’t any “rap feuds” in the improv world but I am going to start one. I am going to call out each and every member of the team and tell them why I hate them.
Screw you Nick Armstrong! You always find a way to make me laugh. Whether it is a big outgoing character or a quiet introverted version of yourself, you always make me curious about how that character is. You always seem to be playing at the height of your intelligence and talent, and for that I hate you. The next time you great me with a smile and a friendly pat on the back, I am going to scissor kick you.
Screw you Brandon Barrick! You always wear the same shirt. I always wear a very similar outfit on stage as well. We are a lot alike and that makes me hate you. You have energy on stage that gets the other players involved. You always go to relationship and emotion right away, just like a good improviser does. You are not afraid to be grounded in a scene and it makes me jealous. I am going to steal that shirt and wear it.
Screw you Jeff Clinard! You are so giving on stage. You endow your partner and the scene with so many gifts and interesting choices that it grabs my attention and makes me want to vomit. I get invested in your characters, you are not afraid to be quiet in a scene or play the “straight man”. That makes me jealous cause I don’t do that well. The next time you are “yes anding” right of the bat, watch out for a soup can from the audience coming right at you.
Screw you Erica Gowland! I love your characters so much that I want to smash something. Interesting choices, fun games, support, you do it all. You are very brave when I watch you. You act like everything that happens on stage is supposed to happen and you never seem like you are not invested in a scene partner. You focus on the other person in a scene so well, it’s almost like the audience is not there. And believe me, with how much you make me jealous, maybe I won’t be there any more. (I will)
Screw you Ryan Gowland! Hey pal, why don’t you have another scene where you let the other people talk first and then say something that not only supports their choice to the highest degree, but gives the scene so much clarity it seems like it is written for you. You always are in control, you work well with everyone, and you have a sense of play that is infectious. Fuck off!
Screw you Zach Huddleston! Well, if it isn’t the old one sentence assassin. Oh, I guess you are going to just pick a great point of view for your character and then funnel that point of view through the entire scene, heightening your partner’s choices and then say a sentence that makes me double over in laughter. You make me sick with your subtlety and you ability to bring emotion into your scenes. I am going to hunt you down.
Screw you Amanda Lund! Why don’t you just go away? You with your relationship based scenes that are so real. You seem like a real person up there, relating to your partner and building a great scene. Why don’t you ever do characters?……..what? Oh shit you do and they are fucking fun as hell when you do them, but they always still seem to be real people, which makes me hate you!
Screw you Erin McGathy! If I give you 30 seconds on stage, you come up with a character, a point of view, get to the heart of the scene and then have fun with your partner the rest of the time. Why can’t you just flounder along for a minute like I do, then find one funny thing to say and then wait for the edit? Because you are too good that’s why. You “get to it” right away and it seems effortless, it’s so good. I’m never speaking to you again.
There, I’ve said it. I’ve gotten it off my chest. I feel better. So good I will probably see Local 132’s show next week at 9pm at IO West. And I encourage you to do the same.
